Certificate of Dubious Excellence

Le Concours International du Plonk is proud to present its most prestigious honour, awarded to anyone who has ever bought whatever was on special.

Each A5 certificate comes with 16 gold Official Seals of Distinction, ready to peel off and award to any bottle (or box) under $15. Perceived value rises instantly. Actual value remains questionable.

Award categories include

• Best in Class: Broke Dunedin Uni Students
• Double Gold: Cheapest Way to Forget Your Ex
• Top: Hangover From Hell
• Top: Best With a 3am Kebab
• Winner: Most Pretentious-Looking Label
• Trophy: International Vinegar Show
• Third Last in New Zealand
• …and nine more honours no winery has ever wanted

Perfect for

Secret Santa, birthdays, BYO dinners, housewarmings, and that mate who swears the $9 Merlot is "actually really good".

Details

• A5 black certificate with gold awards
• 16 peel-off wine awards per certificate
• Designed in Wellington, New Zealand

No sommeliers were consulted. Several were avoided. In Vino Veritas. In Plonk, Probably.